Last night emotions were running high in our home and as always, they were mine. A few days ago we chose and purchased a full single sized bed for our little Els and last night we built it and smothered it in a cute duvet set, lots of pink and a new (very snuggly) duvet.
As Matt took apart her little cot bed that may I add was incredibly battered, covered in stickers and even though it had been mended (result of many hours being used as a trampoline)- it was a hazard, I had a little cry to myself. Matt was taking down and preparing to dump the place where both of my children as babies have slept. He was taking apart the place where my little loves have dreamt, smiled, learned to stand, laughed, played, been safe, snuggled and thoroughly enjoyed. While the loves of my life closed their eyes each nap time and night and drifted off in to the land of nod, they grew. To see my once very beautiful Mamas and Papas cot bed in pieces, it broke my little heart.
I felt like time had gotten the better of me. I realised just how much my children have grown since their first days in their cot. I realised I had to say goodbye to watching them sleep there, cooing over each and every sound and watching them twitch while they dream.
It was like taking a bullet!
I know to some people, it is simply a cot bed but I have always been the sentimental type and I don't know, I just felt a bit blah and a bit sad. Sad that I no longer have babies who will stare in to my eyes for hours and allow me to hold and hug them endlessly. In the same breath, I also realise that instead I have little people, with voices and opinions. I have boundary pushing and constant questions. I have inquisitive, curious and wonderful little humans who make me see the world very differently. All things that I adore and love about them and about my life. I most certainly wouldn't want you to mistake me for being ungrateful. I realise that I am incredibly blessed.
Noah is at a fascinating age and he is surprising me all of the time and Ellenah is really coming into her own. She is changing daily in front of my eyes. The way she looks, speaks and grows. She is learning new things and constantly trying to figure the world out. I guess her big girl bed is another portal in allowing her to do so. Her big girl bed will give her more space for all of her future growth and hopefully her big dreams.
I guess I just feel like it is an end of an era and as much as I look forward to the next chapter for my lovelies and us as a family, I will miss the one just gone. I'm sure every Mother (and Father!) feels like this when they realise that there is nothing that they can do to stop their children from growing up, what seems to be so very quickly.
Anyway, time for a little reminiscing before I carry on being my usual smiley self- Noah and Ellenah absolutely loving their cot bed. I still find it so bizarre that both of them learned how to pull themselves up to their feet in the same place in the same cot... special times.
x Maria x