Friday, 31 October 2014

The End Of An Era...

Last night emotions were running high in our home and as always, they were mine. A few days ago we chose and purchased a full single sized bed for our little Els and last night we built it and smothered it in a cute duvet set, lots of pink and a new (very snuggly) duvet.

As Matt took apart her little cot bed that may I add was incredibly battered, covered in stickers and even though it had been mended (result of many hours being used as a trampoline)- it was a hazard, I had a little cry to myself. Matt was taking down and preparing to dump the place where both of my children as babies have slept. He was taking apart the place where my little loves have dreamt, smiled, learned to stand, laughed, played, been safe, snuggled and thoroughly enjoyed. While the loves of my life closed their eyes each nap time and night and drifted off in to the land of nod, they grew. To see my once very beautiful Mamas and Papas cot bed in pieces, it broke my little heart.

I felt like time had gotten the better of me. I realised just how much my children have grown since their first days in their cot. I realised I had to say goodbye to watching them sleep there, cooing over each and every sound and watching them twitch while they dream.

It was like taking a bullet!

I know to some people, it is simply a cot bed but I have always been the sentimental type and I don't know, I just felt a bit blah and a bit sad. Sad that I no longer have babies who will stare in to my eyes for hours and allow me to hold and hug them endlessly. In the same breath, I also realise that instead I have little people, with voices and opinions. I have boundary pushing and constant questions. I have inquisitive, curious and wonderful little humans who make me see the world very differently. All things that I adore and love about them and about my life. I most certainly wouldn't want you to mistake me for being ungrateful. I realise that I am incredibly blessed.

Noah is at a fascinating age and he is surprising me all of the time and Ellenah is really coming into her own. She is changing daily in front of my eyes. The way she looks, speaks and grows. She is learning new things and constantly trying to  figure the world out. I guess her big girl bed is another portal in allowing her to do so. Her big girl bed will give her more space for all of her future growth and hopefully her big dreams.

I guess I just feel like it is an end of an era and as much as I look forward to the next chapter for my lovelies and us as a family, I will miss the one just gone. I'm sure every Mother (and Father!) feels like this when they realise that there is nothing that they can do to stop their children from growing up, what seems to be so very quickly.

Anyway, time for a little reminiscing before I carry on being my usual smiley self- Noah and Ellenah absolutely loving their cot bed. I still find it so bizarre that both of them learned how to pull themselves up to their feet in the same place in the same cot... special times.

Huge Love
x Maria x

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Just The Two Of US...

On Monday morning while Ellenah was safely playing at nursery, Noah and I walked very slowly to work while holding hands. We were talking about the seasons and how things have changed. We talked about his favourite superhero. We discussed what he will potentially writing on his christmas list. He told me a joke (which I'm still not sure I understand!) and I am sure I laughed in the right place. He asked me if we could read 'The Cat In The Hat" by Dr. Seuss at bedtime. He told me that for my next birthday he thinks that Daddy should buy me a charm bracelet because I deserve it (I know, cute right?!). Noah explained that when he is thirteen, he will be a teenager and he will look after me. Noah expressed that 'Mummy, I love Ellenah and I love Daddy but... I like it when it is just the two of us'. I agreed and said that it doesn't happen very often anymore and we should have a date soon, maybe a trip to the cinema. Noah replied by saying, "A DATE TO THE CINEMA.... MUMMY, I WILL BUY YOU FLOWERS!"- Awwwwwww, the boy is smooth. Hopefully when he is older he will be the kind of boy mending hearts instead of breaking them.

 Our fifteen minute walk to work really got me thinking. If you have followed my blog for a while now then you will know that I am very aware of the second child syndrome. I make a conscious effort to avoid Ellenah from simply slotting in to our lives, I rebel against it. I wonder if somewhere along the way, engrossed in making our family unit as close knit and safe as possible, I may be a little guilty of forgetting that there was a life before Ellenah, a life where Noah was the complete centre of our universe. All eyes were on him and quite rightly so. When Ellenah came along, almost three years ago, Noah 'simply slotted in' to being a big brother. A task he flourished at. We never had cries for attention (apart from maybe a little toilet training regression!) and he thoroughly enjoyed being a big brother and having a little sister. We often asked him how he felt about having a little sister, often made sure that he felt loved and cared for. Every time, he looked at us like we were a little bit mad. I believe that Ellenah stole his heart and he completely accepted life and all of its changes for her.

Monday morning was a little reminder to him and to myself that it was very often just him and me. The foundations of our wonderful relationship were built in those times and those times should be cherished. I should make more time for some quality 'Mother and Son Time' because our conversations, giggles, cuddles and games will make for treasured memories. Those memories will help Noah to grow, flourish, love and trust. Those memories will be with him always, even when the time comes and I am not.

Lots Of Love
x Maria x

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

What Matters Most?...

Last Thursday was Noah's year one parents evening. I know that this is probably quite a late post but honestly, it has taken me this long to get my head around it.

I have to say that after the numerous glowing reports and parents evenings from Noah's reception year, I was feeling slightly nervous. On Noah's first day in year one, I assumed that I would walk him to his classroom door again and I would have the opportunity to meet his teacher and you know...suss out the situation. After all, he is still only five years old and handing my child over to education without much of a say still feels a little odd. My expectations fell flat.

I was able to walk Noah to a door that entered the building then from there, Noah had to carry all of his bags and things down a corridor all by himself, find his classroom and independently put everything in its place in time for a full day of learning. He did this perfectly well. I know this because thankfully, I was able to watch him manoeuvre around by the use of windows... yes, indeed like a creepy stranger. Then I had to walk away.

I assumed that maybe I would meet his teacher on collection but once Noah gave the nod that I was present, he walked his little legs over to me, ready to go home. I remained in my spot for a while, attempting to make far too much eye contact with his teacher... just in case she felt like saying Hi. Finally Noah pulled at my arm sleepily and I turned and walked away.

For weeks, this was the process. Never a word exchanged and barely a glance in my direction. By the time Parents Evening came, I was desperate to meet her, desperate to know that there was nothing I should know. Hopeful, that if there was any problem... we would have met by now. I assured myself over and over, no news is good news and telling myself 'You know Noah Ree, you know deep down that he is doing fine. Stop worrying!'- I did not stop worrying.

So anyway, on Thursday Matt and I went to our allotted appointment and was greeted by such wonderful, wonderful words.

Do you remember in this post HERE, when I explained how I do have the tendency to sob when people say such lovely things about my prides of joy or when I see them do such incredible things... well... It happened again. Thankfully on this occasion, I fought back the tears so nobody could see however every now and again, I didn't deny myself the odd lip quiver or a severe shaky breath and when we left, I asked Matt if it was normal that I full on cry. He said it wasn't really. I didn't care... Haha!

Basically, we were told that Noah is going to fly through school with ease. He cares about his presentation, his handwriting, he is incredibly able in both numeracy and literacy and basically all things school and he is often used as a 'good example'. These were all just such fantastic things to hear. It's nice to know that all of the hours that I have spent reading with Noah, talking with and listening to him have been worth it. I am so pleased that academically, we had such positive news.

However and this may come as a surprise, his abilities at this early point in his school career are not what Matt and I as parents are most proud of at all. Of course, we are very proud of him. Like any Mother, I want life to be as easy as it possibly can be for my children but it is not the only thing that matters to us. To be told that Noah is well behaved, confident in himself, Independent, caring, sociable, imaginative, sweet and kind, matters so much more.

In the throws of education, I don't want Noah to become a statistic or to have to grow up too quickly because his brain is always encouraging him to do more, to push for extra. I want him to be a little boy, to care about the world, respect it, have wonderment for it. I want him to be interested about other people. Not to compare himself against them. I want him to play. Instead of writing down the stories bubbling away in his thoughts every time, to have the opportunity to  play it out and see where his imagination can take him. 

It matters to me that Noah can go to school and be his absolute best without having to compromise who he is and who, as he grows I hope that he remains as. I don't want Noah to lose the characteristics and qualities that make him so very special. I hope he always has belief and confidence in himself and he always cares about others and treats people with kindness. I wish for it.

Needless to say, I am happy, proud and grateful. Grateful that he has a teacher that could reel off a very accurate description of my son, because she wants to know him and she cares.

Next time that Noah walks out of school and grabs my hand to walk home without acknowledgement... I'll take it. I know that in school, Noah's teacher has his back and he is in safe hands. Now I know why he can't wait to go to school every day...

How did your Parents Evening go? What matters most to you when it comes to education?

Lots of love
x Maria x

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

What Ellenah Did #6

I am not getting up! I don't care how many alarms are going off... my eyes shall stay firmly shut and that is all I have to say about the matter. Hang on, I just heard Mummy say 'Breakfast'...whoosh, I am up! Everybody.... Ellenah is up and Ellenah's loves breakfast time.

I had rice crispies today, they were gooooooood!

I looked out of the window this morning to check out the situation with the old weather. If there is a storm a-brewing like the one that we got stuck in last night, Mummy can think again if she thinks I'm going on any school run. I shall check every two minutes and inform everyone, every two minutes- 'it's sunny'.

When Noah finished gym club last night and as we were walking up the hill to come home, there was wind and rain and wind and wind and it was windy and it was raining. I got sooooo wet and so did Noah and so did Mummy and we couldn't see and we couldn't breathe and Noah got scared and started to cry so I cried because that made me scared. Mummy was saying 'it's ok, everything will be okay, I promise'. My pushchair was blown over by the wind and started to roll down the hill. Mummy picked it up, then she picked me up and Noah was holding her legs and she ran us all to the top of the hill. The wind was so strong we all had to kneel down with Mummy's coat over our heads so that we could carry on breathing. Mummy said it was a strange time to be camping and our tent wasn't very good. I didn't have the heart to tell her that we weren't camping... we were wet and cold and scared and she was mad.

She did tell us that she would get us home safely though... and she did!

Today, Mummy and Nanny took me and my bestest (except when we don't like each other) cousin to the ball park. We climbed up high and we went down the biggest slide. Mummy came down with us and we had a race. I probably won! We zoomed, whizzed, climbed, slid, jumped, laughed and sang and it was just so much fun. When it was time to go home... I did not like that. I want to live there actually. I don't like go now! Mummy tried to put on my shoes, so, I twisted my leg and flexed my foot anytime she tried to touch my feet... not a chance Mum! Then Mummy said, ' I'll have to eat your sweeties then, won't I?'... What, I find out there might be sweeties, seriously... Now she tells me?... So I look at my Mummy in the eyes, she looks back lovingly and I point to my feet as if to say 'Get a move on Woman, there are sweets involved here!'

I had a kinder egg, it was nice!

When we got home and after I had a little snooze, I woke up feeling a bit poorly. My throat hurt and I was coughing and Mummy said, 'You don't look yourself Sweetheart?'... Did somebody steal the Ellenah? Why did somebody take my face?... I said to Mummy, 'I am!'...and then I cried. What she said was mean. I am Ellenah. I had to have honey and lemon and it tastes-ted weird. I marched around the kitchen singing 'Ellenah's needs d' tockter'. Mummy put her ears to my chest to listen to my heart. She said I was okay. We repeated that about twenty times until I needed to pee. 

At bedtime, Mummy read me 'Guess How Much I Love You In The Spring'. It was about what little things grow into, like eggs and tadpoles. Mummy said that one day I will be a big girl like she is... I replied 'No! a frog'... I don't think she understood the story.

When Mummy gave me a kiss and said 'I love you Ellenah, goodnight'... I said 'I luw yooo more more more!'... Mummy smiled, a lot.

High fives and knuckles
Lots of Love
x Ellenah x

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Magic Monday #9

Hey Beautiful People...

I actually skipped out on Magic Monday last week. This wasn't at all because nothing made me smile. In fact, it was completely the opposite. I was busy living for the moment and being so very busy settling in Polly (Read about her HERE) to our home and all of that jazz. Our home has been buzzing.

Kid Cheer, Thumbs Up, Shout It From The Rooftops Pride
Okay so I am technically cheating because this did not happen in the past week but I didn't want to yell about it too early and it definitely deserves a place in my post about smiles and happiness. A couple of weeks ago, after Noah's gymnastics lesson... my little man who I still consider to be five months old rather than five was invited to join the Faversham gymnastics squad. It was quite a surprise to be honest- we were completely unsure how these things work and wasn't sure if the fact that he can practically do the box splits alongside other crazy things that make me panic, had been noticed. Well they had. On Tuesday, Noah had his first session in his new group and absolutely loved it as well as kept up with the other children. He completely held his own (while his emotional, anxious ruin of a Mother hid behind her hands and stopped breathing every time it was his turn to do what can only be described as a stunt, ha ha)... Needless to say, I am just super proud of my little man.

Birthday Smiles
Tuesday was an awesome day, not only did Noah have gymnastics but it was my birthday. Who doesn't love their birthday?! I turned the wise (I shan't say 'old') age of twenty eight- how did that ever happen? I had a lovely relaxed day with Matt and Ellenah, watched Noah at gym after school then I was whizzed in to Canterbury with my sisters to feast out at Nando's then to the Marlowe Theatre to watch 'Park'. I had a wonderful time. 'Park' is an expressive dance show which is completely my cup of tea. It made me miss being on stage and dancing massively. The show itself was... erm... odd, really odd but in the most spectacular way. I laughed, laughed, smiled and laughed. It was great.

Huge thanks to these Diamonds for spoiling me on my birthday, I had a smashing time.

T.V and Movie Joy
Yippee, The Walking Dead is back on our screens. My whole family is obsessed with this programme. For those of you who don't know, it is basically about a group of people trying to survive in a world full of walkers (zombies). Okay so it may sound a little done... but it is just way better than anything else along these lines, it's not even funny. It is so scary, heartbreaking, completely shocking yet, if we were suddenly over run by zombies, it would be totally relatable. It is definitely worth watching.

I have also been introduced to the movie 'pitch perfect' (a really girly movie about a glee club/choir group in college) and I am obsessed. Since I first watched it, I have seen it three times, watched the songs over and over on youtube and as I write this, I am listening to the soundtrack on spotify- I adore it. It makes me smile a lot.

I am pretty confident that I have forgotten a lot of things that have had me laughing, smiling or feeling so happy I could burst. I didn't get round to jotting too much down in my notepad this week. Grab all of the wonderment around you with both hands this week and 'Let your smile change the world, Don't let the world change your smile'...

So Much Love
x Maria x

Saturday, 18 October 2014

What Ellenah Did #5

Damn it's dark this morning... Some would say it's still night time, I disagree! 5am is a perfectly good time to get out of bed, walk in to Mummy's room and tug on her hair until her eyes ping open. Mummy said 'Ellenah, it's too early, back to bed!' and I replied by squeezing in her cheeks to make her face look squished. It makes her look hilarious. 

Mummy scooped me up in her arms for morning hugs... and to try and get me to go back to sleep. How stupid does she think I am?????? I hurried off to play with my kitchen, I'm going to make this chick breakfast in bed, it will make her day. I like it best when she is still sleeping and I see how much food I can post in to her mouth. So far I have managed one lot of peas in a pod, one runner bean, a bit of cheese and some chocolate... This means I am practically a ninja... a princess ninja.

We did a lot of walking today. The best bit was walking in to town because Mummy and I skipped down a really big hill. Mummy was smiling and I was laughing and an old man in a car started beeping and smiling and waving and it was fun and Mummy didn't care that she looked like she had a broken leg and I looked more awesome because I am a princess ninja. 

When we got in to town, we saw my cousin for her birthday. It was good, I had cake!

On the way home, I stepped in poop... doggy poop! It was ds'gusting! I didn't like it on my boot, it was stinky... so I wiped it on Mummy's jeans... she didn't like it either and she didn't want to skip any more after that. I'm not sure why?! 

Mummy read me a story when she was done 'disinfecting herself'... I think she meant her jeans but you never can tell with grown-ded ups, they talk nonsense most of the time. Like on the way home when Mummy was telling me about when she went somewhere with somebody and they did something... I think you had to be there because I yawned. Sometimes I think Mummy's should speak only when they are spoken to... for the best!

Saying that, Mummy can sing whenever she likes, especially 'wind bobbin' up' because I really like that song and I do sing it pretty well.

Anyway, I have to go, I am rather busy this week with wetting myself almost every time I need to pee. After being potty trained for about six or seven months, I have decided I need a break and I just don't think Mummy has done enough washing this week.

So, shall speak to you next week...
x Ellenah x

P.S. Check out what we did last week HERE.

Saturday, 11 October 2014

Meet Polly.....

Hi Everybody!

I am so pleased to introduce you to our beautiful new kitten Polly. She is around 5weeks old now. Her birth day was roughly the 5th September and she is MEGA small. If you read this post HERE, you will know that she has a rather interesting back story and her start in life wasn't the best.

She kind of looks like a furby/ Gizmo from the gremlins because she is soooo tiny, fluffy and light. Her face is really squished in to the middle of her face, she is adorable. 

I'm not sure if it is because she has had to be bold, brave and strong but the girl has got flair...and front! She walks around our house like she owns it already. She puts on a strutt and it appears that the world is her oyster. 

The children 'love love love her' and can't get enough of the cuddles. She hasn't made it in to Ellenah's pram yet but I'm sure it won't be long.

Noah is enjoying his big brother role much more now. He makes sure that she has enough love to last a life time. He is protective of her and encourages her to get enough sleep, food and rest to ensure she grows big and strong.

Puddle has been stalking her since she set foot through our front door and last night while she was eating... actually, while she was half eating and half bathing in her food (messy kitten!) Puddle took the opportunity to check her out and give her a little wash. I don't doubt that in time, they will become firm friends and partners in crime.

Matt can't quite get over how little she is... but he adores her as much as I do.

I hope that she is going to have the happiest life and the most wonderful home. She has been accepted in to our family with open arms and we are going to treasure her. beautiful is she??

I don't know if it is obvious, but she has totally won me over. My heart feels happy that she will know love in her lifetime. 

I am so glad that she has found her forever home with us! 
We have had her just a day and she is already eating like a champion, playing with her toys and using the litter tray like a complete pro (aside from one accident this morning on my sofa but we are all willing to forgive her- did I mention how cute she is?)

I am a big ball of smiles and happiness today ,I can't even express it in enough words....x

x Maria x